I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
