I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
