i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
