Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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