There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
