I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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