Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize