your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
