yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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