So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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