found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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