so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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