quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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