I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Is it because I queefed?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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