You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
