should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
