His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
