She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
