Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i would punch a child for taco bell
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
