I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
