If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
my poor anus
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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