we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
