I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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