I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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