I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
