the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
