My first STD was from a foam party
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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