it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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