You really coming over, don't trick.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
