Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize