You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
