did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
