if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
