She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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