I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
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He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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