Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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