Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
