Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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