Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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