what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
