what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
