should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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