My nipple is on Facebook.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
