Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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