Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
