The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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