16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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