Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
