I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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