i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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