my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dignity is for republicans.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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