no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
