i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
