he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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