omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
