it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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