I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize