"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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