He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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