Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Randomize