She's JV to your varsity
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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