Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
