You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
