Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize