hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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