i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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