cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Boobs are out for the taking
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
