The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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