what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
