there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
ttyl tear gas
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
