does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
