dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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