she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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